


protection / destruction

by angededesespoir



Series: Grimmichi Week [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Homicidal Thoughts, Introspection, M/M, Multi, Serious Injuries, aichmophobia mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 13:51:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10309571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angededesespoir/pseuds/angededesespoir
Summary: [Oldfic; Originally posted 6/14/16 on Tumblr.]Grimmjow's P.O.V. on when Ichigo stops Nnoitra from killing him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> _Day 2: Protection/Destruction_
> 
>  
> 
> _(Also posted on[Tumblr](http://angededesespoir.tumblr.com/post/145899680405/day-2-protection-destruction).)_

        He stands above him, worried and defensive- blade against blade, preventing the blow.  Grimmjow is still reeling, still piecing together, still trying to breathe through the awakened pain.  He grits his teeth through realization, chokes back a heated litany of expletives.    
       Damn the spoon bastard and damn this shinigami, who never let him have what he wants, what he deserves. The least he could have done was end this humiliation, turn the blade on him and feign eagerness to resume the fight (the idea is still a bitter one- he wants genuine desire, anger, fire; there should be no need to convince, to drag monster out, and no need to pretend). Give him a chance to make things right or die trying, instead of letting him slowly lose his life blood laying idly on this cold, itchy sand.

       He is at first stunned by the man’s incomprehensible selflessness, and then the humiliation hits as Nnoitra’s words bite into him. “ _First the enemy kicks your ass, then you let him save your life?”_  This boy thinks he is being helpful, noble- he is only pointing out Grimmjow's flaws, rubbing in his face all of his weaknesses.   (At once, he wants to teach him his place, show him who’s king; but there’s a fear rising in him, too.  If Kurosaki is to fight the damn Quinta, at this point he might not make it out alive, and at this rate he himself might not either.  And how would they be able to resolve this, then, if one or both were to die?  [He pushes the fear down, channels the wrath, feeds his destructive instinct.])  
  
      He preaches of 'fairness' of 'equality,' of rules of battle that do not apply to creatures like the likes of him- it is only pity. He looks down on him  (rejects their commonalities), must think he must lower himself, doesn't see Grimmjow's worth (just like the rest), won't give him a proper chance.  (The boy might as well slam him down now, smother him like Aizen. But no, no, even when he must do anything to protect, even when he is goaded and manipulated and his friends are stabbed clean through, he is never cruel.   _Always too soft_.  -There is flame in Grimmjow's veins.-   _Such strength shouldn't be wasted on someone so weak.  So, why.....?_ )  
The thought is ingrained in him- what else could it be?  ( _It isn't fair._ )  
  
       Ichigo, even in his weakness, is stronger than him.  And only the strong survive in this world.  ( _He's a fool, a goddamn fool. A coward.  There is no_  
mercy, no love.  There is only pain and humiliation and the extinguishing of life.)    
He feels the rage  welling up- ' _he insults my pride_.'  

       But, as he lay bleeding, watching this boy fight to defend so many, to protect an enemy's life, he knows that it is more than an issue of pride.    
Ichigo fights to defend, to protect; Grimmjow, to destroy.    
  
There is an awful, sickening ache in his chest- one he has not felt in so long.

A being of destruction should not be drawn to a being of salvation, of mercy.  The dark should not be drawn to light.  

Yet here they are again.  Here's this feeling again.  

.....Perhaps, destruction was created to protect something, too.  Perhaps one could still be saved. 

Perhaps he still had a chance.....if he could be even more stubborn than Kurosaki, and Kurosaki could be stronger than him.


End file.
